Have you ever regretted removing a toxic friend or colleague from your life?
Me neither!
You are the average of the people you hang out with, which means life is too short to be surrounded by negativity, drama, and toxicity. Over the years, I’ve learned that one of the most important steps towards personal growth and happiness is recognizing when relationships turn toxic and figuring out how to move on.
In this blog post, I’ll discuss what makes someone toxic, why it can be challenging to let go, the detrimental impact of toxic people, and I’ll provide practical advice on how to gently remove them from your life.
“Don’t let toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.”
Identifying Toxic People
In Harry Potter, dementors are creatures who “drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them”.
It would be nice if toxic friends were all as easily recognisable as the dementors are in the Pottersphere. Unfortunately, recognising toxicity in the real world is not always so easy!
Toxic people can come in various forms, but they all share common characteristics:
Constant Negativity: Toxic people have a knack for seeing or creating the negative in situations, and they often drag others down with their pessimism.
Manipulation: They use manipulation tactics to control and exploit those around them, often to satisfy their own needs and desires. They therefore thrive in interactions involving others who are high on agreeableness and just want to get along.
Lack of Empathy: Toxic people struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others, often showing a complete lack of empathy or compassion. They might defend this as being “practical” or “direct”. If you share your negative feelings as a result of their actions, you might find yourself being gaslit.
Drama and Conflict: They thrive on drama and conflict, creating turmoil and chaos wherever they go.
Why We Struggle to Let Go
There are several reasons why people find it difficult to cut ties with toxic individuals:
Misplaced or Outdated Loyalty: Many individuals feel a sense of loyalty, even to those who have consistently brought negativity into their lives. This loyalty can stem from long-term friendships or family connections.
Being Agreeable: Some people are naturally agreeable and fear confrontation. They’d rather endure toxicity than face the discomfort of ending a relationship.
Coercion and Manipulation: Toxic people often manipulate their victims into believing that they are the problem. This manipulation can erode self-esteem and make it challenging to break free.
The Negative Impact of Toxic People
Having toxic people in yourlife can lead to various negative consequences:
Mental and Emotional Drain: Constant exposure to negativity and manipulation can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being, leading to stress, anxiety, and even depression.
Stunted Growth: Toxic individuals can hinder your personal growth by discouraging your dreams, goals, and ambitions.
Strained Relationships: Toxic people can damage your other relationships as well, as their behavior often spills over into interactions with your friends and loved ones.
How to Let Go of Negative People
Letting go of toxic friends starts by identifying toxicity. That’s not easy, as we often make small accommodations and justify their behaviour. But once you have identified toxicity, here are a few practical ways to gently remove toxic people from your life:
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the toxic individual. Let them know what behavior you find unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Limit Contact Gradually: Begin by reducing the amount of time you spend with the toxic person. This gradual distancing can make the process easier to handle emotionally.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or even a therapist. Talking to others about your decision can provide you with the encouragement and strength you need.
Conclusion
In my journey as a life coach, I’ve seen countless individuals experience profound positive changes after removing toxic people from their lives. While it may be difficult and uncomfortable, it is a step towards self-care and personal growth that you won’t regret.
Remember, you deserve a life filled with positivity, support, and genuine connections.
What’s your experience?
What experience do you have removing toxic people from your life?
Share in the comments or let us know on social media what advice you have for removing toxic people from your life!
